An Experiential Learning Event with Wounded Warriors

For me, this event indeed inspired me to keep walking the walk I’m walking, with clear and mindful intention that this is my way.The opportunity to be a part of a supportive community where each individual can feel safe and at ease is the basis for any successful program. This happens through intentional design and process; it also depends on positive attitudes of mutual acceptance and dignity. Each individual is important. Each individual affects what happens. The opportunity for warriors to meet with other warriors of similar experience is so vital… and part of a successful program is facilitating this process than letting positive things happen. We spent casual group time at the resort, in the Inn at Stratton Mountain, at Bentley’s, at the Living Room and Sports Center, and in Hearthstone condos. It was an honor to meet and get to know each warrior.I’ve used this forum to write and share my thoughts about living experiences. I’ve hoped that my thoughts might help someone who reads them. I’ve learned to conduct myself in life as a role model whenever I can, a mentor if you will, each day, each step along my personal journey. And, I’ve learned that through personal reflection I learn to take my next steps from a place of mindful intention.

It is from this perspective that I feel so fortunate to have shared a few days last week with the wounded veterans who participated in Wild Mountain U’s first program at Stratton Mountain. Organized and supported by the Wounded Warrior Project, the event was intended to provide a short health and wellness retreat for wounded warriors who live in the Northeast. Similar to other events we have conducted for other organizations, the program was unique, special, and life-changing. Thank you to Stratton Mountain. Thank you to Bill Hannigan of WWP.

Here are some of my reflections…

We continue to see through our real-life experience that the practice of yoga and mindful-learning can be life-changing for people battling through the symptoms of trauma and PTSD. The practice of developing awareness of thoughts through focused attention on the body and breath helps re-establish healthy internal byways that might previously have been stuck or frozen as a result of the trauma. The mind-body-spirit connections are powerful, and yoga can be a powerful healing tool. We were fortunate to spend time morning and afternoon as a group in Stratton’s new Living Room yoga studio practicing yoga, breathing, and meditation.

Being outside in a natural setting doing physical activity supports natural healthy, relaxed, and authentic behavior. We were fortunate to spend time walking from location to location on dirt roads and pathways, and to spend time at the top of the mountain walking around and playing in the snow.

Being aware of healthy options and practices provides alternatives for comprehensive paths of healing. We spent time learning about fitness, nutrition, food shopping and preparation, and even spent some time making our own juice! Stratton is fortunate to have a fitness center with a gym and indoor swimming pool. Our hope is that these wellness tools will inspire further inquiry and a sense of empowerment. After all, our minds and bodies are a product of what we digest, how we exercise, how we rest, etc… things we can control.

As much as I like to think of myself as a mentor, in reality each person who attended this event was my mentor. Learning to live through the challenges in life these warriors are faced with gives them perspectives in life that are unique, insightful, and inspiring to others, including me. Sometimes, it seems that we have a hard time letting go of the way we think things or people should be like, and just accepting (and being grateful for) the way things are. It is especially hard when your body and mind are stuck in the past as a result of the trauma and you are struggling against comparisons and judgment about the future and just trying to survive in your present daily existence. When we let ourselves be as we are, and focus on small positive steps, sometimes things fall into place better. It was nice to be around a supportive group of warriors, a group of warriors whose nature is based on dedicated work, honor, service, integrity, and mutual support, in an environment where we could just be ourselves and learn together. I give thanks to each of the warriors for being exactly who they are, and for bringing themselves to Stratton and Wild Mountain U… and being a part of my life.

Setting Goals. Getting a Coach. For Me.

It’s getting near the end of the year and I’ll turn 55 this month. So many exciting opportunities have come my way this year. I have so much to be grateful for; I have so much to look forward to. I feel like I am in a good place- healthy, happy, and supported by love and loved ones. I feel like I have much to offer- experience, compassion, and the ability to support others in the pursuit of their dreams.

But it is also time for me to check in with who I am and who I want to be. My quest to be my authentic self and to be a positive influence in this world continues. It’s time to write the next chapter of my life.

I have decided that I want to be a better coach, a better leader, a better mentor. I have taken strides during the last year to learn as much as I could from as many people and from as many experiences as I could… and to be as open as I could to new discoveries and new opportunities. I have learned to trust my intuition and to feel Divine love.

Today, I have decided to set some clear intentions for my next chapter. And today, I will hire a coach to help guide me. A fitness coach. A nutrition coach. A wellness coach. A teacher. Maybe this will be one person. I will share my experiences. I will use these experiences to be a better coach myself. I see myself as a health and wellness coach, a motivator, a spiritual leader. But everyone needs a coach… a teacher… a mentor… themselves. I want to be an awesome athlete… a connected body and mind and spirit. I want to be able to ski and ride with power and style and speed for many years. And be able to share that same exhilaration, passion, happiness, and zest for life with others. I want to live young… and live learning… and be there for those I love. I want to shape a new world.

This is me today… time to write my next chapter. Stay tuned, as I morph my physical self, challenge my mental and emotional self, and explore my spiritual self. Smile, it will be an adventure for sure! I accept impermanence with open arms!

Positivity and Avoiding Negativity

I am very fortunate to have always been able to see the positive side of things. Not always, but usually. Certainly, part of this comes from a safe upbringing that allowed me to explore who I was, who I wanted to be, and feel loved and supported in the process. But I believe it also comes from practice, a practice of seeing things for their beauty, yes, but also a practice of avoiding people and places that don’t support positiveness. In other words, I avoid negativity.

For me, negativity follows:

Judgment- when we accept things for the way they are, rather than place some sort of value judgment or engage in critical thinking, we are more likely to see the positive and avoid the negative;

Sarcasm- in my view, sarcasm is usually a put-down, an attempt to disguise in humor what you don’t have the courage to say directly and compassionately;

Lack of personal responsibility- when you accept that you have the power to choose, you learn to accept that you are largely responsible for your life and your own actions; you learn that the negative behavior of others isn’t an excuse for your own negative behavior;

Divisiveness- when we seek common ground, connections, and similarities, rather than focus on differences, we all win and there aren’t losers;

Unsupportive behavior- simply put, if someone or something doesn’t bring out the best in you, move on!

Resistance to change- when we let go of our attachment to the way we think things should be like, we open our eyes, our hearts, and our future to endless positive possibilities.

Positivity follows: Acceptance, understanding, personal responsibility, common dignity, mutual support, connectedness, non-attachment, and a general attitude of compassion for others and a sense of worthiness for one’s self.

Positivity usually comes from thinking from your heart-space. Negativity usually comes from thinking from your head-space.

Positivity leads ultimately to the realization that each of us is made from the matter of the Universe, connected to and dependent on all things, and with that, the deep sense of spiritual belonging and importance.

A positive person brings out the best in others, allowing everyone to be authentic and inspired.

A negative person casts shadows over others.

Positivity starts with feelings of love; love of self; love for all others.

A mentor inspires positivity and helps others avoid negativity.

A mentor casts light onto others and provides support for the wings of others to fly.

Reflections on My Miraculous Life

About 18 years ago I took a sabbatical from my position as a partner in a leading Upstate New York consulting engineering firm. I went on a NOLS trip. I decided to spend more time in Vermont where I taught skiing and guided mountain biking on weekends. I was always inspired in the mountains. I went there. I stayed there. Since that time, my world has continually been an exciting exploration of life, one discovery after another.

I met Jo and her two kids, Alex (8) and Natalie (4). Jo and I talked about living sustainably, about simplifying our lives, about living and sharing in a healthy manner. We traveled. We explored. We got married. We raised two wonderful kids. We took care of our homestead. I got involved in the ski business and was a resort leader in a new strengths-based teaching program. I got involved in adventure-based programming and team-building activities. I learned about timber framing and sustainable home design. I even taught math and health courses at a private middle-high school one year where both kids were students. I became more and more accustomed to change as the priorities of our kids became our priorities, and as I lived the Vermont can-do independent and interdependent lifestyle.

When the kids were in high school, we endured some very dark years. The effects of tragedy that had occurred in my wife’s previous life, before I met her, began to show their ugliness. For me, day-to-day life was more about survival and working hard to get through each day, focusing on my survival and the survival of my wife and my step-kids. I learned about post-traumatic stress through direct experience, both as a caregiver and also as an indirect sufferer of its ugly symptoms. Our years of learning, practicing, and teaching yoga became instrumental in our day-to-day practice of coping and just existing.

I became more and more spiritual as I grasped for meaning. I was alone from a human perspective, but as we reached out for spiritual support, I felt more and more connected. Things started to turn around. From this suffering came learning. Although I didn’t know it at the time, I was being prepared for my life’s work.

When the economy was hurting and my timber-frame design work was slow, I received a call to help facilitate a new program in New York for veterans with post-traumatic stress (PTSD). The person calling me had no idea of our past experiences other than that I could do team-building activities well. One program (and one person named Joel) led to 3 years of work with veterans with PTSD and other disabilities, and work with amazing civilians, some with disabilities and some without. I met some inspiring veterans. Joel. Mike. Michael. Michael. Ed. Peter. Jeanette. Joan. Will. Brian. Linda. Matt. Jonah. Bill. Leslie. The list goes on. I have met some inspiring disabled athletes and volunteer coaches. John. TC.  Andrew. Ty. Andrew. Carson. Robin. Betsy. Paul. Hannah. We have become friends. We have dreamed about life, connecting with others, being in nature, learning to accept ourselves and practice living on a day-by-day basis. No judging. No attaching ourselves to outcomes. Just being compassionate and well-intended human beings.

One of the veterans Jo and I shared much time with was Eva, who came to some of our events as both a therapist and as a participant. We had some amazing experiences in New York, at our home in Vermont, and then travelling abroad. We talked about our sufferings. We talked about our paths of healing. We shared heart-felt experiences of spiritual connection and miracles and healing. We shared our lives and practiced healthy daily living…local organic food, meditation, yoga, exercise, discussion…

Since the time of our experiences with Eva one year ago, more and more magical experiences have unfolded… and at what seems to be an accelerating pace! We have learned to trust our intuitions. The heartfelt, spiritual, and healing experiences we shared together have become the guiding lights in each of our lives.

The three of us have struggled with the thought of building something together in one location. Eva’s home is on the West Coast. Our home is in the East. We learned to let things unfold. We knew that simple daily practices of healthy living would be at the core of any comprehensive program we initiated to help others heal and live better.

And unfold they have! All in the last year! A new nonprofit organization has been birthed by Eva on the West Coast- Warriors Live On, Inc. A new nonprofit organization has been birthed by Jo and me on the East Coast- Wild Mountain U, Inc.  Eva continues to expand her work in the areas of mindfulness-based therapies in the San Diego area as she works to launch WLO programming. Jo and I have had door after door open for us at Stratton Mountain, Vermont, through our work to provide mindfulness-based yoga programs, outdoor education experiences, and health and wellness education and leadership at Stratton and with WMU. Stratton and WMU will partner for veteran-supporting and other programs. We will enlist the support of our many friends, many of whom have been our guiding lights. WLO and WMU will do some joint programs together or in support of one another. I plan to be intimately involved in the WLO mentoring programming. Jo and I are excited in the meantime as new and exciting opportunities unfold at Stratton Mountain.

And yes, I am a ski school manager again… at Stratton… my 40th season as a ski instructor / clinician or ski school manager / director.

I have also recently started this blog. It has been a way for me to reflect. It has been a way for me to share. It has been a way for me to move on from an identity as an architectural engineer to a health and wellness mentor. It has been a vehicle for me to share what I learn as I experience new things each day in my life and as I look back at how my path has brought me to this place… with new understanding… and with new perspectives. It has helped me realize my role at my age as a mentor.

So, 2012, to me, has been a year of miracles.

In my last decade and a half in Vermont, I have learned much. I have learned to let go of things I can’t control and to accept responsibility for things I can impact. I have learned to keep my eyes open to new discoveries and miracles. I have learned to keep my heart open to all… and accept all people as they are with dignity. Or at least try. I have learned what it feels like to love deeply, to be spiritual, and to trust my intuition. I have learned that even in tragedy, there are opportunities to learn and to see light. I have learned that it is through experiences with others that new insights are possible. I have learned the challenges of parenthood; I have experienced the magic and beauty of parenthood. I have learned that my path in life is sharing what I have learned with others, and learning to live in a manner that is to the benefit of all others. I have learned that we will all thrive in our collective lives and in our individual lives when we support each other, learn from each other, and work from a place of common ground. For me, that place of common ground starts with feelings of love and compassion for all, and a deep sense of belonging and connection.

One Step at a Time

The thing about walking, it happens one step at a time. Life happens one step at a time, one moment after another. Learning happens one lesson at a time, often times one life lesson after another.

The thing about life is that you can have goals and set your path to reach your goals, but things happen, change occurs, and each day your path changes. Each day begins a new path. Did you notice that? It’s one transition after another, yes?

Today, I walked up a mountain on a path. I entered a Summit Challenge race at Stratton Mountain, VT. My destination was clear: the summit. On this day, as is often the case, many other people shared this path with me. Yet each step was unique. With each step, I had to decide whether to step on a loose stone, in a wet patch of grass, or on some solid gravel. I had to avoid ditches and other people. Each step took effort; each step took practice; each step was uncertain. But with step, I made decisions, chose which path within the path to take, and stepped forward, one step after another, trusting that I would find my way.

This summer, I resigned from a job, a job I loved, working with people I loved. It was just time for me to take my next step. Did I have intention? Yes… I had goals and a vision. Did I know where my next step would land? No… as always, each step is uncertain. But, I resigned anyway, and stepped forward, trusting that I would find my way.

I find it remarkable sometimes that when you have clear intention, when you take definite steps forward, trusting yourself and your intuition, new paths become visible… What it looks like at the summit, what you experience when you reach your “goal” is never clear until you get there. What is clear is that I just need to take the next step… and the next step becomes clear… one step after another.

Is it our tendency to want to know what it looks like at the top, to be assured of things being a certain way at the end of our path? Yes… it is our tendency, isn’t it? But, I believe, that with practice, we can focus on each step, trust in ourselves as we take the next step, and with clear intention and awareness, we will find our way… to the “summit.” This way requires a balance between holding on to what is comfortable, safe and familiar, and letting go and being open to the discovery of a new path. Each step becomes an adventure, an adventure guided with a manageable level of risk, an adventure guided by who you are and who you want to be with your next step, and the decisions you make.

Sometimes, it is hard for us to let go of previous steps. Sometimes, we still live in the moments of previous steps… the steps that led us to here, where we are now. Should we even try to let go? I think letting go is possible and desirable. But, we will continue to remember our previous steps, yes? The trick is finding a way to appreciate all of our previous steps, good and bad, realizing that we are where we are now because of those steps and outside influences, and we have the opportunity to decide with that awareness, what steps to take next. For me, this is where having an attitude of gratitude for all that has come before me, each previous step, each deviation, each changed path, makes it easier for me to take the next step with clarity. Learn from previous steps… and adapt as I take my next step.

It’s not about taking the right step and avoiding wrong steps, it’s about taking steps, walking your walk, with understanding and awareness of the present step, with clear intention and faith in future steps, and with gratitude and appreciation for all previous steps or experiences in your life.

In my opinion, if we can each take our own individual steps in this manner, supporting those around us as they take theirs and receiving support from those who offer to help us in ours, our journeys will be in a place of goodness and take us to a place that we desire to be, a place that we see in our mind’s eye as we step forward, one step at a time.

For me, this summer’s step was huge… and I’m still taking a bunch of mini-steps, some positive, some painful. Today, however, I was reminded that I need to keep stepping forward with my eyes toward the summit. The view from the top will be worth the climb. And the next summit will be clearer!

Thanks to Stratton Mountain for supporting me on the steps I am taking in my life today… and will be taking tomorrow.